i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
