Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
