I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
