Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
