Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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