she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize