I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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