We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
