Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
