therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
