I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
do herpes really smell.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
