i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize