Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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