i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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