It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
