What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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