you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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