4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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