I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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