we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
