the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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