return my video game
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
