My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
