Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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