he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
