You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
