Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
