This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
