walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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