my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
