why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
