Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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