There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
