now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
