I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
