Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize