she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
