Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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