I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
