he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
