I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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