you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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