I'm gonna have a badass scar
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
