laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
