i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
