I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
