she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
