ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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