just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
