Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
