is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
