pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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