that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
