you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
