Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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