Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sext me about skeletons
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
