I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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