I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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