Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
