yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize