He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is her dick bigger than yours?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
