its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
